suicide is painless.

it brings on many changes.

my storms roar and heave.

roaring, heaving, roaring, heaving…till the very end, the very end. the very end!
“No… not the artful postures of love, but love that overthrows life. Unbiddable, ungovernable, like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture”

cold.

today i forgot how to write my chinese name in the exam.

i came home today and hailey came rushing at me in her walker, calling MAMA. she calls everyone MAMA, which is quite sweet actually. it’s very heartwarming to have a child in the house to pull your hair, bite your nose, paw at your nipples, rush over when you open the fridge, tug at your clothes when you are busy, babble away in baby talk to you…

oh it makes you forget all the shitty things in life. i love you, sister. even if i don’t give you food, i don’t want you to be obese.